Flirting Issues

It takes me two songs on my iPod to walk from my flat to my workplace. Along the way, I get to observe a variety of people walking along or hanging around the eating places I pass. And as I bounce along to the happy beat of my walking music (or should I change it bouncing music?), I can’t help but notice that sometimes while I observe people, there are those that also seem to notice me. I figure it’s because I usually find myself smiling and singing along to the music. (I really can’t help it. I’ve tried. I swear.)

 

Anyway, this morning, a peculiar thing happened. Okay, maybe not peculiar. It was more surprising, really. As usual, I was bouncing along, a goofy smile on my face, and bits of whispered singing escaping from my lips when this tall Caucasian man paused mid-stride to stare at me. Then he smiles and winks as I pass him by. I look around to check if he was directing his attention to someone else near me, but I wasn’t beside anyone else. So, I, too, paused mid-stride and looked back. (I was, by this time, two steps past him.) He was about to turn away when he caught me returning his smile with a little wave. I didn’t bother to check for his reaction. I just turned around and continued on my merry way.

 

I didn’t think too much about it until now. I wonder. Would that be considered as flirting? Mind you, I was not interested in the guy. I did not even find him attractive. I was just minding my own business when he decided to show some friendliness (in the non-freaky way) towards me. It was only right that I acknowledge his efforts, right? It’s not in my nature to ignore someone who makes an effort at being nice. (I didn’t get the lewdness vibe from the guy so I’m assuming that he was really just being friendly in a foreign country.) Besides, I know deep down --- all the way to the marrow of my bones --- that he wasn’t going to be my Mr. Darcy. So, why bother?

 

Anyhooo… To get back on track… Flirting.

 

Was that flirting? Who was flirting with whom? I sure wasn’t. Well, I didn’t think I was. Was he? What is flirting, anyway? What are the rules? How does one go about the whole process? Are people naturally equipped to engage in this social endeavor? I’ve heard of natural flirts and studied flirts. Which category do I fall under?

 

Apparently, with all these questions, I am making the world think that I am an artless, flirting-inept, social failure. I don’t think I am, but then that’s just me. One would think that I would feel crushed and embarrassed by this if it were true (being a social failure, I mean), but, surprisingly enough, I don’t. Feel crushed or embarrassed, I mean. I think this feeling of equanimity in the face of male-female interaction disaster stems from the fact that despite my questionable knowledge of the how’s and what’s of flirting, I have managed to attract some fairly decent men throughout the years. Some even managed to stay in a relationship with me for years. Whoop-dee-doo. (Getting into the why’s of my relationship failures is a topic for another day.)

 

Does this mean I’m not a total failure in the art of flirting? Or am I just oblivious to the whole thing and I simply don’t realize that I, in fact, flirt? (With disaster, more like.) Hmmmm… Interesting thought.